My default this morning was to call it out on its crap, along with everyone else on Facebook. But when I sat down to think about it, it sort of feels like I'm laughing at people for trying to be happy, whilst I sit down and accept a situation that I am not entirely happy about.
At this point, I'm going to stop you and ask that you don't make a quick judgement about my life. I am a happy person, with a wonderfully lucky life but there are a lot of things I would change in a second. Please review this list:
1. Whilst I can boast a degree in History - the grade is reflective of how hard I worked. I was lazy at university and 90% of the time I did not want to be there (one of my lecturers would bring cake every week so for the other 10% of the time I was first in last out). I didn't care about the subject and that shows in my work, which I read back to and cringe! For 2016 I want to learn about something I'm actually passionate about - I just have to figure out what that actually is......
2. For those of you that don't know me, I'm very overweight. Again, I'm not miserable and sometimes I even like the way I look but sometimes I also need Edward Scissor Hands to come and chop at my stomach like topiary until I look like my 16 year old self again (she was still kind of chunky - but in a more toned and curvy sort of a way). I recently joined Slimming World and feel inspired by all of the women that are achieving their goals. By the end of 2016 I'd like to have the courage to stand at the front of a photograph.
3. I'm also blessed with a full time job and (reasonably) steady income, but on my other shoulder is the ability to spend every penny of it three minutes after it enters my account. I have been with the boy for 7 years almost, and for 6 of those we have been dreaming about a road trip through Canada and America. It'd be nice this year to spend a little less on lipsticks and Pokemon cards (mine and his hobby respectively) and a little more on our dream. As cliché as it sounds, I'd like to have stories to tell my children - not just a bucket of lipsticks that claim to be the perfect peachy nude (it doesn't exist ladies - stop looking).
I know these are fairly adult resolutions and 17 year old Amy would be screaming if she found out I was the type to worry about money, diet clubs and education. I honestly hadn't realised that being an adult doesn't just mean I can eat Turkey Dinosaurs and watch Buffy all night - it means I actually have to deal with adult stuff... they didn't prepare me for this.
Long post short, whether it's successful or not (and God I hope I win this year! 2015 had defeated me by March) I think that a "New Year New Me" mentality has helped me to face my goals, my successes and my failures. To call it crap and to sit on my desires for another year might lead to a very early onset midlife crises!
I don't know, perhaps I'm only writing this because the boy is asleep and I needed someone to rant to. I do like the sound of my own voice...
Thank you for making it to the end, see you next time!
Amy x
